🎶 Spider plant, spider plant, does everything a spider can't 🎶

I’m not depriving that fire of any combustible material. Sorry, plant.

Spider plant.
Spider plant.
Does everything a spider can’t.
When it sits.
In the sun.
Photosynthesis just for fun.
Look out!
Look out for spider plan.

Not even grabbing the plant.
I’d punch musk in the face & gtfo.

At least the plant does some good in the world.

I’m not taking any chances, nothing is leaving that room. Your sacrifice will be honored, spider plant.

….spider plant, spider plant…

That is going to be the most saved plant in the history of plants.

I know the rooms engulfed in flames, I’m the one who set it on fire!

It’s probably worth tipping the plant out of the pot, and checking nobody’s hidden the Epstein files in the soil.

It’s not exactly that I wish to harm any of them. It’s just that they all believe in strong individualism and I’d hate to help them when they have made it very clear that needing help is weakness in their religion. I’m sure they’d feel much better burning than receiving help from anyone.

If they see me saving the plant and myself, I think the only real fight to stop me would be with Elon. Trump is too old to chase after me. Vance is too busy fucking a couch. Elon, he has some body flabs, but I would not underestimate him.

It’s so hard to decide…I mean that flag would have a lot of collector value, but the plant is alive

I grab the plant and blockade the door

Sorry plant, I was going to save you but I saw a folder called “underacted Epstein files”. Surely you understand

Did the plant sieg hiel or something?

How the shit would someone carry out the heaviest president in the history of the United States? If any of these boxes contained a boulder 40 feet wide and tall, I’d have the same question without even wondering how or why the boulder would need to be rescued.

Anyway, snake plant

The real question is which one do I beat to death with the pot, before running out?

I’d grab the plant …then beat the nearest one of those ‘people’ over the head with it for as long as I could, then lock the door behind me and wait outside of it until I’m sure no one can get away from the fire.

I have a spider plant that was supposedly propogated from a spider plant that that belonged to an Aunt-in-law that was given to her by JFK Jr.

Kind of a running joke in the family but a lot of us have descendants and call them all “JFK Jr.”

So, I’m saving John-John. Sorry not sorry, don’t lose your head.

Save the only one with feelings.

Corrupt politicians are a dime a dozen. Healthy spider plants in the office on the other hand are pretty rare.

I want to save one… And kick it in the nuts. A lot off times. Maybe trow him back after

OHFU—!!! I’m grabbing that plant! That’s a nice plant! Look at it, not a waste of oxygen and actually helping the world out…

(Side note: I have a cactus and I would absolutely choose that cactus over my personal safety in case of fire. My cactus also has its own cactus, so I must save that too. It basically goes like this: husband > laptop > cactus > cactus’ cactus.)

Look, if that plant hadn’t approved of what those three were doing, it would have left the room long ago. By staying until the room was in fire, the plant showed it’s true colors. That is a fascist plant, and I’m not saving it.