• SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz
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    5 days ago

    Why the fuck people coming in here and being like “why spoons?? Just say ‘energy’???” or whatever.

    I’ll tell you why: because when we say “energy”, people start giving unsolicited advice on how to get more energy: take vitamins, eat healthy foods, go for a walk! Which… you know, most of us do those things. And some of us can’t do some of those things like the typical population.

    Spoons run out. I’m out of spoons. I can’t make more spoons. It will take time for the number of spoons to replenish to the point where I am able to hand out more. Until then: I am out of spoons. I can’t give you a spoon.

  • starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    At the same time, if you are chronically ill are you not allowed to relax? A normal person can go home and unwind, a person with chronic illness has to deal with the illness which might put them in constant pain, make them extremely tired etc, and also somehow has to spend extra effort solving it. How is that even remotely fair?

    • FundMECFSResearch@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPM
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      5 days ago

      It’s a way chronically ill people talk about energy.

      Our bodies tend not to be as resilient as healthy people. So if we do too much (ie. use too many spoons), instead of recovering after a day or two like healthy people would if they did too much, we tend to have our health worsen for long periods.

      So the analogy is you have a limited number of “spoons” (energy) each day, and you have to use it wisely.

      Obviously, this doesn’t impact every disability and is mostly used by chronically ill people and people with energy limiting conditions.

      • jol@discuss.tchncs.de
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        5 days ago

        While I love spoon theory I think it’s a poor metaphor to use for general audiences as it requires a lot of context. I guess this tweet is not really targeted at everyone, but just a rant to their circle.

          • cAUzapNEAGLb@lemmy.world
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            5 days ago

            Could’ve just said effort or energy and i would’ve understood the intent of this post, I am now clued into spoon theory now though

          • sartalon@feddit.nl
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            4 days ago

            I never heard of it before and while I did not immediately fully understand it, I did understand and empathize with its point. I guess what I am saying is this is an anecdotal story that supports your argument.

          • jol@discuss.tchncs.de
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            5 days ago

            If the original tweet was for the general audience, just replace with “energy”. That’s it. The term is more understood in our bubble only. You are suffering from bias.

            Jargon is usually used to make oneself feel “in”, but it by design excludes everyone else from the conversation.

            • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              5 days ago

              I come from a mental health background and spoons is excellent for anyone. It needs explaining, sure, but neurodivergent people can use spoons to explain the cost of their executive dysfunction, people with depression can use spoons… hell, people free from illness can use this expression, too!

              I get being bitter about jargon but it’s an extremely versatile and easy-to-understand metaphor. I think the aim here should be to share it more, rather than try to label it as improper to include.

              • jol@discuss.tchncs.de
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                4 days ago

                Yes, if you have the chance to explain. If you can’t, talking about spoons just confuses people.

              • slackassassin@sh.itjust.works
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                4 days ago

                I get that spoons are a tangable and limited resource, and that part provides for a better example. But the part that doesn’t work well is that spoons have a specific value and use case. Like, you could still operate pretty normally without a spoon.

          • DogWater@lemmy.world
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            4 days ago

            A bucket full of a liquid. That bucket has a faucet over top of it that fills it at x rate constantly. For disabled people it fills more slowly than normal abled people so pouring energy out is more costly timewise and must be calculated carefully.

            • Norah - She/They@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              4 days ago

              While I do like this metaphor, I think it’s not useful as a shorthand. Once you explain spoons to people in your life, and they understand, it’s a useful tool to catch their attention and help them realise that energy isn’t an abundant resource for you.

  • sik0fewl@lemmy.ca
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    3 days ago

    It should be normal and acceptable to ask for help and receive it.

    I understand people wanting to be independent (I’m independent and I like it that way), but I wish we could just help people out and not make it a big deal.

    Asking for help shouldn’t come with any expectations in return, except that someday you might need a similar favour and someone will be there to help you.

  • Drusas@fedia.io
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    5 days ago

    I’d add that being ill or disabled makes life more expensive, and dealing with health issues and insurance can be as draining as a full-time job.

  • KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de
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    4 days ago

    Who the fuck is telling people to “try harder”? I only get told to fuck off if I’m not welcome. But the “try harder” thing is making me irrationally angry.