• Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
    17·
    3 days ago

    this but straight instead of gay, i don’t care about gender but man there aren’t a lot of cute guys around here, they’re all either masculine or they’re douchebros who think logan paul isn’t a despicable asshat…

    where tf are the twinks?

  • djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    27·
    3 days ago

    Here’s the wildest part, I prefer women.

    I think it’s just because my last long-time partner was a man, so a lot of my current friend-group has only ever known me in a homosexual relationship. Also, a lot of my friends are gay, so it’s easier to be “one of the gays.” Gonna be real weird to be called gay when I’m in a technically het relationship.

    • gift_of_gab@lemmy.worldEnglish
      19·
      3 days ago

      I don’t know if you’ve experienced this (or are this age) but my kids are gen-Z, and they use ‘gay’ and ‘queer’ (mostly) interchangeably. One of my kids who is gay constantly refers to me as ‘gay’ because I’m bi. One of their friends who is a lesbian also uses gay, so it’s been quite a learning experience for me.

      • djsoren19@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        7·
        3 days ago

        Yeah, my friendgroup does the same. It doesn’t really bother me that much, just very silly to think about. I’d rather be included in the LGBT community than excluded, even if bi-erasure is a pretty serious issue. I used to really care about the meaning of words, but now that we live in a post-meaning world, I mostly just care about the intent. Nobody ever means me ill will when they refer to me as gay, so it’s w/e.

        • gift_of_gab@lemmy.worldEnglish
          6·
          3 days ago

          even if bi-erasure is a pretty serious issue.

          Yeah I’ve been bi(sexual) since the 90’s when it was, uh, ‘frowned upon’, but I came out as bi-romantic last year. The erasure is absolutely real and brutal. I was talking with a guy (who was gay) and when I said I was bi he sighed aloud and then just walked away. The vast majority of people are much better about it, though I have not had a great experience once I came out as enby. Random women have come up and ‘negged’ my hair/clothing/etc, men on the other hand get annoyed when they mistake me for a woman.

          I mostly just care about the intent. Nobody ever means me ill will when they refer to me as gay, so it’s w/e.

          I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but you might want to say to them ‘hey so I love being included, and it feels somewhat erasing to be…’. I find that the vast majority of the time that goes over well and people go with it.