• gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    At the same time, it really, really sucks thinking you found this and then slowly realizing years into it that it’s not going to work because it’s just crushing your soul and there are some fundamental incompatibilities that are just not going to change and you have to get out for the sake of your own sanity and long term happiness, despite how much you want to make it work.

    Source: I’m in the terminal phases of that process right now.

    Apologies for being a Debbie downer. Just having some pretty rough times right now, and the next couple of weeks are going to absolutely suck, and there’s definitely no way around it but through.

    • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 month ago

      I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you manage to navigate this uncomfortable (and temporary) period of your life and can get back to building happiness again.

    • flicker@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Hey, I just did that a year ago this November 1st!

      Man, am I glad I did. And man, was it so worth it.

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      At the same time, it really, really sucks thinking you found this and then slowly realizing years into it that it’s not going to work

      Its not going to work with that particular person, but that doesn’t mean your life is over nor that the one you’re looking for still isn’t out there looking for you. I’m really sorry to hear about the situation you’re in right now, and its not going to be easy to get through this and its certainly not going to be quick, but you can get through this. You can heal. You are so much more than just that relationship even though it may not feel like that right now.

      You must navigate these choppy waters with an aim to come out the other side whole in time. You owe it to yourself. If you want to try again in the future, should you want to try again, you owe it to the other person thats still out there looking for you.

      • gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        Oh, I know that. I am actually very confident I’m going to feel way better in the long term. I’m just struggling a lot with guilt and stuff right now because a big part of me feels like a complete psychopath for basically spurning someone I love a lot, and who I know loves me a lot too.

        That said, I do appreciate your well-wishes. <3

    • Stupidmanager@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Been there my friend. 30 years together, and she ended it without warning with a weak excuse. Took me a year to realize she was a drain on my mental wellbeing and I’m now better off. But, for the first 10 years I can say life was good.

      Today, life is way better.

    • Hamartiogonic@sopuli.xyz
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      27 days ago

      It is absolutely soul crushing. Here, have some flowers to cheer you up. 💐

      May take a while, but you’ll be ok eventually.

    • Pacmanlives@lemmy.world
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      1 month ago

      Yuuuup been there before. Gets worse if you have a kid together. Thankfully I didn’t in my case but I have friends who are “stuck”