(Me screaming inside Wendys for McDonalds fix their Ice cream Machine)

Wait, this doesn’t work?

Those GOSH DARN Democrats keep trying to feed and house immigrants with MY TAX DOLLARS.

Instead of putting them in cages and throwing them in prison. (AGAIN WITH TAX DOLLARS.)

Yeah, a judge will fortunately stop them with due process.

Oh wait. We don’t have due process anymore.

Oh wait. They’re arresting the judges.

Oh wait…

Speak for yourself. I had a security guard who watched me scan then try to run up to me when I finished to recheck my stuff.

Like dude, you watched me from the beginning.

It’s always a hassle for me. Items not scanning. The machine screaming about the item not weighing correctly. The machine screaming at you because you moved your item.

It’s great for quick purchases. But I’m going to a cashier if I have more than 10 items.

Ah nuts

• boycotting the US

Worked with a guy who was obsessed with Tim Ferris and his ‘Opening the Kimono’ philosophy on transparency.

Dude took it really far when he pushed for nude events and “Tell All’s” at our company retreat.

Later quit to run some crypto scam.

What in the tradwife?

I’m not from the US so I don’t know how expensive this stuff is over there, but if it really costs this much to clothe one baby for a year then fuck me and I’m shocked.

Be prepared to be shocked.

Companies play the threat game all the time. Just go, so a local startup that treats people better can take over.

Have you tried, or are you a coward?

Yeah. Asshole did a number on America. I’m not letting him die in peace.

Literally this.

I still laugh at recruiters who ask if I’m okay that the company has a dress code.

I laugh even harder if it’s a remote position.

I love shitty tattoos.

Not on myself, mind you.

Bro I’m laughing my ass off you made my Sunday.

We’ll just push that 4-top, 4-top, 6-top, 5-top together and make a table at this server station while blocking fire escapes.

Bonus points:

Mother of the shooter

Not enough people talking about the MAGA school shooter

The alleged gunman who killed two people when he opened fire on Florida State University’s campus Thursday was identified as the son of a Leon County Sheriff’s deputy who allegedly promoted “white supremacist” views, according to officials and a report.