He has no legal authority

FDT!

FDT!

FDT!

He’s the pimple on my ass.

Hmm. Where have I seen that name before. Oh yeah, all over the hush money case. Crooked lawyer for Trump gets job as crooked lawyer for Trump.

Mama didn’t love him, now he’s a grumpy old man with grievances.

Love the effort to protect the dog’s privacy.

Good cop bad cop?

He would log good in a hood, doncha think?

Then why do they get all bent when WE film them?

And the entire world collectively whispers under their breath, “Good.”

Trump flips the board, pieces go everywhere and exclaims, “I win! I’m the best at Checkers!”

What a giant ass. He has nothing to offer at all. Just a fraud.

And the gargling too

So the numbers are actually quite a bit lower. All news agencies fluff their numbers, until tax time.

I’d modify it a bit:

"Affluent power couple, found alive in their love nest, referred to as a Mar-a-Lago. They were confirmed alive by an infrequent visitor, Melania who stopped by to pick up 3 inches of shopping cash. "