It’s a happy ending no matter which common meaning you choose to take from “[finish] the job”.

Makes me wonder whether they’re expecting to lose a significant number of young men for some reason over the next few years as well. Gotta start planning for replacements early.

Nice use of the paperclip.

Found one.

Crimea river, Ivan. Solve your leadership problem and maybe then I’ll give a fraction of a fuck about your feelings.

Funny how Allah didn’t stop her, I thought he’d be stronger than a young human woman.

Guy’s so repulsive, even bullets instinctively avoid him. Bad news for us and anyone standing behind him.

Typical religious wacko trying to lure in kids to be groomed and abused.

You just put a jack under one end of the building, lift it up and let them roll out the other side. Easy peasy.

Assume a spherical child in a frictionless vacuum.

That’ll teach those sinful women for daring to have sex without their owners’ permission. Even stuff like this won’t sway the committed republicunts since they can fall back on some bullshit about “god’s plan” or find ways to turn it back on the victims of their politics.

Strong entry for an Ig Nobel Prize if nothing else.

Shitty thing done shittily. Still more worried about the ones who aren’t incompetent clowns but good to know that whoever’s supervising isn’t completely blind.

Arson, murder, and jaywalking.

Yeah, this shower thought is awfully judgy coming from a (presumably hypothetical) killer.

All I know about the EDL is that they don’t like Muslims or hair.

Outside, not my area of expertise.

Presumably to be a bureau doing investigations into alleged federal crimes and related matters.

What a coincidence, that’s what I call all the months.

Downside: that’s a lot of dangerous animals missing an opportunity to make the world a better place.