Within the next few days: “It wasn’t an accident”

Lottery, I have more confidence in my ability to manage money than a relationship

That shit lives in my head rent free and I ain’t even mad about it

“The cat only shits enough to fill the pipe up 90%”

“Uh oh, he shouldn’t have had seconds!”

I believe they were going for 10 extended family members. e.g. 4 grandparents, 2 “adults”, 4 kids. Kinda like this:

Subject: Fire. “Dear Sir stroke Madam, I am writing to inform you of a fire which has broken out at the premises of…” No, that’s too formal. “Dear Sir stroke Madam. Fire, exclamation mark. Fire, exclamation mark. Help me, exclamation mark. 123 Carrendon Road. Looking forward to hearing from you. All the best, Maurice Moss.”

AI system examines webcam footage for signs of cheating during an exam. AI thinks poster behind student is another person in the room that could be helping during a test. AI flags it for teacher to review as possible cheating. Teacher checks footage and sees that AI fucked up (sorta, I mean it did detect the face as trained to do).

I’m pretty sure their point is that the two aren’t comparable. No one actually uses archive.org like a music streaming site, thus the suit would be ridiculous.

But it comes with new features too, like an ad at the top of your message list every time you open it! We should consider ourselves lucky that they’re giving this to us for free!

/s

Women are like puzzles
Because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote
…
Puzzles still don’t

- Bo Burnham, Men & Women

So if I take 2, 12 hours apart, I can get by with just a couple 2 hour naps?

Trying to scam an extra brain cell off the kid

e: ope, kept reading and saw someone beat me to basically this joke by about 7 hours

Damn that’s crazy, it’s almost like being a check against tyranny is part of your job or something, that you swore an oath to do. But this is America, so you better just keep being afraid instead of acting in some sort of collective fashion to make things better.

Put there by Satan himself, he knows it makes you think evil things

Other than the fact that it’s meant to be read as twenty thirth?

So, honey grahams cereal is basically graham crackers as a cereal, and cereal was also invented to repress sexual desire (specifically masturbation iirc), so is honey grahams twice as effective or is it a double negative situation and they cancel out? Asking for “science”.

Bit of a choice to base a game show on a question where the answer is always yes, let’s see how it pays off for them

Charon: “No, I mean, you gotta get to the brain. The mouth is the worst face hole to get there.”

The actual one we had in the 80s and 90s

Well, I think we can agree on one thing. I guess I don’t really get what you’re saying ¯\_(ツ)_/¯