Transfem

i am two month in and i feel so good! (i remember, that i was publicly desperate a few weeks ago, yes.) let me explain.

I’m bald, like George Costanza in season 9 bald. The cheap wigs I’ve tried look like, well, cheap fake hair. They were also incredibly hot and itchy. At this point I think going around completely shaved or with a bandana as a head wrap looks best, but I still really wish I could present with hair.

I just read this article about beauty standards and while I see the excess of it as harmful I can’t help but feel hypocritical when I think about laser or hormones or even putting on eye shadow and mascara, not to mention FFS.

Seriously. It’s kinda hitting hard right now.

Hey wonderful ladies, gents and everyone outside!

EDIT: Thanks for everyone’s kind words and support. I’m not sure how to reply to most of them, but just know I read all of them. I will be seeking out therapy and figuring out what’s right for me this week. Thanks so much.

there is an anxiety in my trans circles that the future might become worse, that access to surgery, new passports and stuff might become harder. i feel like i should hurry to get shit done.

I just wanna text with someone, cuz i’m bored af😭

Okay, so It’s my first post. I don’t know if this count as NSFW but just in case I’ll put a spoiler.

I’m in my early 30s, been on HRT for a few months now (boobs growing yay), and I work with another trans woman, late 20s fully transitioned years ago. We work together and have hung out outside work several times, and I can’t escape the fact that I’m getting feelings for her. This has been building for me for the past couple years, but we’ve worked together for at least 3. The situation is complicated because we work together and I don’t want to do anything to compromise our working relationship/friendship, which has been really good. She’s also married (her wife is a trans woman), poly, and ace. I love being around her and talking to her. I want to get to know her better and be physically affectionate with one another. Sex is pretty much off the table and not something I seem to want from her anyway. Mostly I just want to hold her and tell her how much she means to me. There’s a part of me that really wants to tell her how I feel about her, but there’s a much larger part that doesn’t. I’m terrified of learning that my feelings are unwelcome, that just expressing my feelings will end our relationship. So far I haven’t said anything, or even hinted anything, but it hurts so much to want to be closer and to hold myself back from taking a chance. I know that this is probably the worst time in my life to try, having only started transitioning a few months ago and only recently being finally done with a (messy) previous relationship. I just don’t know if I can carry on with things the way they are. Obviously the answer is to enjoy being friends with this woman I care so much about. Maybe something will change in the future. Maybe nothing will. Either would be better than losing her now. But knowing that doesn’t really change how I feel…

CW - Mentions of: Dysphoria, SA, PTSD, graphic violent descriptions.

This has happened too many times to be a coincidence and it’s always men from Taimi that already know I’m trans, it’s never the men from Hinge whom I date stealth.

Hi, I’m Domi.

Trans woman here, been on HRT for a couple of weeks now. (No effects yet of course, I know that’s normal, that’s not what this post is about) Of course I am glad to have that opportunity as a young adult but I keep having this uncomfortable thought that this is not going to be what I hope it to, the final puzzle piece for liking my own body and finally feeling good about myself. A bit of a background info: I look terrible. Not just in the regular mtf dysphoria i-don’t-look-female terrible, but also the just generally ugly human being way. I die inside a little everytime I look into the mirror and avoid cameras like the plague. Everything from terrible skin quality to weird looking chin and cheeks, wide shoulders while looking like a stick that’s barely over the healthy weight minimum. And it’s not like I don’t do anything for my physical health, quite the contrary: I do daily workouts, get enough sleep, eat healthy and sleep enough, don’t drink, smoke or consume anything with much sugar or fat and I spend a lot of time outside. Additionally I have a hygiene and skincare routine that’s probably more intense than the ones that some beauty influencers promote. All of that amounts to me barely avoiding looking like one of those zombies from Left for Dead. And then I look at people around me living the most unhealthy of lifestyles while looking 10 times as good as me, that’s goddamn frustrating, let me tell you. Sometimes I visit those trans timeline subreddits and I don’t even have to look at the post-transition images to feel like shit. Literally everyone of these people already looked pretty decent at least even before they transitioned, which doesn’t give me any idea if I can even remotely achieve what they have.

I apologize if I end up posting random thoughts too often, but I don’t really have a trans girl friend group who I think are in the age bracket/headspace to provide advice on these topics.

I just hit 6 months and a few days on HRT, and it’s starting to feel less like counting the days and more like something that shows up in my everyday life.

Some backstory on me, I always expected I would have kids growing up, even picked out a name for a future daughter, which when my wife and I relized we didn’t want kids because our world is fucked, we don’t expect we’ll ever not be living paycheque to paycheque, and we borh have mental health issues that even when managed, don’t feel like something we want to submit a child to. I got a vasectomy a few years ago now and I don’t regret it. I’ve been on HRT for 4 months now, so my reproductive capabilitiesare doubly turned off. The name I picked out for a daughter ended up being the name I wanted for myself when I decided to transition. Plenty of reasons for me to not get worked up over pregnancy.

I just blurted this out, no editing, no pauses. I just wrote. I was feeling so bad these days and so doubtful and I don’t know who I am but I just felt the need to post this somewhere that would be seen

I’m around 9 months of feminizing HRT, and maintain the opinion that it is one of the best decisions I’ve made. I know that a lot of long term changes won’t kick in until the 2-3 year mark at least, and it can take 5 or more years before strength is comparable to a cis woman.

Me and my also transfem partner got married last week on the fourth anniversary of our relationship. I haven’t changed my name yet, but I plan to take her last name at the same time as I change my first name, and if I do it soon enough it’s cheaper and easier. So now I’m on a clock to get ready for that. Wish me luck!

Its hard to believe I started this community over 2 years ago now. I really love that its been able to provide a protected space for transfeminine and questioning people to experience, share, celebrate and commiserate.

I just want to wish everyone an acceptable wintervus and send hugs to those beeing deadnamed and misgendered by their families. I know this can be a difficult season for many of you, but freedom is just a few days away.

Dr Powers is dropping all out of state patients and multiplying fees by several times over. He cites the current federal administration and hints at litigation, as well as death threats and other violence, and losing one of his employees.

I recently got some bodysuits for the first time, and I’m really astounded as to how much they help with feminizing and making me look really super duper femme. A year of HRT and weight gain have helped lots too, but these just accentuate that and were really euphoric for me and hopefully to y’all too if you end up trying some!

if you have HRT Related queries or advice please check out !diyhrt@lemmy.blahaj.zone, an entire comm for HRT

I’m doing this for the first time, took a hot shower before.

I got a butt-butt-butt? I got a butt-butt-butt.

I am someone who’s dysphoria is best described as biochemical. Today I was falling down an Internet rabbit hole and landed on the use of androgenic anabolic steroids in athletes. Decided to check if there was research done on female athletes.

Hey trans fems!! I’ve had my doses for ages, but I’ve been too consumed with life to worry about trying them. I just got news that my chapter of life is going to be changing soon, and I really wanted to try them during my current stride. So I’ve decided that just for one day I’m going to give it a shot to see how it makes my brain feel, and I’m going to do a proper two week test run another time. What can I expect from the first day? Any things to be concerned about? Is it possible that this derails my productivity or something strange for the first day?

In this 2009 study, 50 trans women with penile-inversion vaginoplasties had their microbiome sampled and it was revealed that nearly all of them had a microflora similar to bacterial vaginosis in natal vaginas, making them more likely to have UTIs and resulting in malodorous discharge.

My partner is concerned that I’m going to suddenly start being attracted to men once I start on the trans-mission fluid. Apparently she keeps reading Reddit posts about people who’s sexual orientation changes after they start hormones. How common is this? I can’t personally think of a word in which I would be attracted to men. Honestly it kinda crosses me out. I did go through a period where I decided to see if I was bisexual and slept with a couple of dudes, but I found the experience really off-putting. Have any of you ladies experienced a switch in sexual orientation? If so, from what to what?

I’m currently in the process of obtaining the two different mental health referrals my insurance asks for before they will cover my orchiectomy. My doctor set me up with a therapist who can be my first referral, and she’s great; very kind, and understanding of my situation. I am getting antsy though.

Good fucking riddance.

Hello everyone, I hope you’re all doing okay. I am reporting again because the situation here is still really hard. The landlord who had earlier threatened to throw us out hasn’t come back since he left. We’re honestly still living in fear that when he returns, he might chase us away. We don’t know what will happen and that fear alone keeps us restless. Right now we also don’t have any food left, it’s really painful that I can’t even use the small money we have for something to eat because it’s meant for rent.

So far HRT is going very well, I’m generally much happier.

I spent years under a strong depression when I was in High School, I didn’t take care of my appearance and that made people think I was a lesbian for some reason.

See title. How do I even cope with never being able to get pregnant? I mourn the fact that I never even once had the opportunity to get pregnant, to feel life in me developing, and all that. Of all things, this gives me the greatest dysphoria. I want to have wider hips and larger boobs, and even though I’m 28 (so hip widening likely won’t happen… maybe surgery?) and I’m 7 months on HRT, I feel like it’s not satisfactory yet. It has made me so much happier and I feel much more liberated having HRT, but even before I knew trans was a thing, even early on, I still had the desire to eventually be able to get pregnant.

Putting on black nail polish used to be the highlight of my week in the early days of transition and way before I came out. I was never good at it, but I liked how it looked on me and it felt like a way to get control back in my life in one of the few ways that I could.

Hello everyone, hope all is well. It has been months since I posted. I had lost my account because my phone was stolen. Also a lot has been happening ever since from the government chasing us from the camp because we are transgender to now that the South Sudanese wanting to kill us a video was uploaded on the fundraiser about how a South Sudanese national is trying to tell others to attack the refugees that haven’t managed to leave Gorom refugee settlement. This really a serious situation that needs your support in order to find safety for the rest kindly. Honestly the major reason as to why I’m writing is that we are in an emergency situation. We are going be chased out of the shelter because of failure to pay rent. We are trying to raise 950$ and we only have 78$. I’m really afraid because even here we live by hiding and how about if we are left on streets. We are visible transgenders that we will be at risk of being killed in this war country. Anything can help also boosting the post means a lot.

I made a similar post a few weeks ago, but just remembered that the last time I had friends was over ten years ago, when I was ten. My whole life at the moment is going to work during the week and being too exhausted for anything for the rest of the day and having no motivation to do anything on the weekends.

Fun lil thread, what did you dress as for halloween this year?

I recently had vaginoplasty, and I’m looking for a pad of some kind that is not too stiff and not absorbent for putting under me during dilation. Something that I can wipe with water, or optionally alcohol if it’s safe for the plastic, but won’t absorb anything or stain from the blood.

when dilating, often I have a lot of pain around what I suspect are certain scar rings in my neovagina, basically areas where it’s much harder to push past, almost like a sphincter but without control to tighten

Edit: Just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of the kind and informative responses I am getting here, and for all of the constructive discussion I see going on in this thread. You all are amazing. 💜

so, I should start by saying vaginoplasty significantly reduced my genital dysphoria, and in general has helped me feel more like a woman - it’s overall quite clear it was the right choice for me (and same with transition overall).

[seeking input from people who use female restrooms]

I recently decided to cut my crap and admit that I was trans. Since then I’ve started on the waiting list for gender counselling for which there is a 3 month wait.

Hi! Im a transgirl who’s very much at the start of her physical transition, and I wanted to ask if people here have some tips for facial makeup, specifically to cover beard and beard shadow. I would love to find maybe one product that just gets the job done as I don’t really want to start having an elaborate makeup routine. Is there such a thing?

I have a pan friend who is the only trans ally I know irl. Few months ago I decided to come out to her. However, I don’t know where to start.

Since the start of puberty I shut myself in my room, mostly only to come out for school/work and for visiting my father every second weekend because my parents are divorced.

Content warning: suicide, suicidal thoughts

This thought has been bugging me for the past few months. Out of my ~15 partners, only 4 would I describe as “conventionally attractive,” and all of those were decidedly fem (1 cis f, 2 tf, 1 sissy), and they were all bottoms. I (32tf) can’t and don’t want to top.

Just curious to know what other people use for their injection methods! I do subq and recently had to reduce my draw needle gauge to 21 since I kept coring vials accidentally.

Today, a particularly nice afternoon with some tea and a good book made me aware of one of the greatest things about transition for me: Allowing myself to be soft and permitting softness in my life.

cw: TERFs and general transphobia

Title

[Asking MtF people who have had genital surgery, ideally in Chicago]

https://www.thepinknews.com/2024/11/12/educational-psychologists-open-letter-cass-review-trans/

Does anybody have research links for scientists/health experts reviewing the Cass review?

I’ve recently heard the phrase “anything that can be taken sublingual can be taken rectally”.

I’ve been getting more comfortable with the idea of starting hrt. The 2 main reasons I havent yet are the current US politics and also I’m not ready for my parents to know about that yet and as far as I am aware they would know because I’m on their insurance and it would be in the bill. Diy avoids both of those things though. The one thing idk about is actually paying for it. I’m in college rn and while I did make a good amount of money over the summer, spending $20 per month or however much it is doesn’t really sound great but because it is something I genuinely need im not sure and I just want to avoid going through my parents and the medical system

An analogy: knowing that I’m transgender and unable to transition due to my career is like water dripping into a cup, there’s a few drops in there already, enough to cover the bottom, enough to go “well, there’s definitely something in there” but sometimes random waves of dysphoria come and drip more into the cup. The tap is usually dripping, sometimes it doesn’t drio, but usually it does. Eventually, that cup fills all the way up, and it starts overflowing, that’s when it becomes too much to ignore, and it’s sitting right there in front of you demanding you to do something. Sometimes you can dump some water out, sometimes you can nearly empty the cup, but there’s always some drops left in it.

Hi, I took my first estradiol cypionate injection this Sunday after staring at the bottle for about a month and I’ve been experiencing some muscle soreness since. I just want to make sure I haven’t fucked up something beyond repair, and it would be nice to talk to some humans about this rather than just following directions off the internet. I’ll include my process at the bottom but if someone can tell me “no that happens to everyone, you’re good” it would really help me. I understand there’s a lot more that goes into DIY HRT and I’m working towards that too.

If there were no restrictions other than physics and you could have any body you want. Like four arms, elf ears, snake lower body, double vagina, whatever you want. I’ve been thinking about how I want to change my body a lot lately and it’s got me wondering what people would want if they could really choose. Look like a specific celebrity? Be a real life anime girl? Be an amorphous shifting mass as free-form as thought? Be a giant space station? I just keep wondering what bodes we would choose if we really had the choice.

Anyone have any recommendations for larger walking shoes for women that are fairly durable? I’m not looking for super stylish, just shoes that will last. Same goes for the underwear, as getting stuff that lasts is a real pain when you don’t know which are the better brands. I’d prefer more expensive stuff if folks know that it’s good quality.

In my experience, dysphoric thoughts can be contagious in a way, a particular, dysphoric way of seeing can transmit to other dysphoric trans people who may have not have considered that way of seeing.

For obvious reasons, I desperately want to get out of the United States. Unfortunately, every country I look at doesn’t seem interested in gaining a retail worker with no savings.

I’ve gone my whole life (I’m 35) NOT thinking I was trans but now I do, wtf am I supposed to do with this? How do I find out for sure? Am I allowed to be a trans lesbian because I’m not attracted to men? Can I even come out, when it will ruin my whole life? I’m jealous of the youth, being old sucks.

Hello,