This. I’m trans and I’ve existed in public as both a man and a woman.
Nothing is more soul-crushing than being called The Devil simply for being of a sex that isn’t even one you want to be!
One of the few Right Wing talking points that I sort of agree with is the idea that men are demonized just for existing, because they REALLY are. I’m not surprised men are responding with hostility to being told their very masculinity is toxic.
Don’t get me wrong, Dudebros are still fucking awful, but… “I get it” if that makes sense.
Doesn’t mean I recommend anyone takes Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson’s advice and no incels are not based, but… damn ya know.
Feminists missed out and are continuing to miss out on an opportunity to bridge the gap. Men aren’t choosing Tate and Peterson because they’re the best version of masculinity, they’re choosing them because they’re some of the only people telling men you don’t have to hate yourself, and they’re acknowledging that things really are challenging for men.
It’s how Trump won too. While everyone was talking about how great things are, he was telling a different story: things were great, but they’re a bit shit right now. While he named the wrong enemy (it’s always oligarchs), most people wouldn’t know that and were just happy to have someone call the issue out at all.
Feminists and Democrats have a choice now: take class and men’s issues seriously, or keep losing ground. Given the latest events at the DNC, it doesn’t sound like Democrats learned anything. Maybe the major feminist orgs are doing the necessary self-examination? I’m not hopeful to be frank, but I’m open to it.
How dare you want to exist as your preferred and best version of yourself!
Seriously though, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve always felt comfortable with the gender I was born with and I can’t imagine how hard it has to be to not feel that way. Not to mention being forced to interact with people who think you don’t deserve to be the person you’re happy with because it’s makes them a little uncomfortable. They’re ignorant assholes.
This is one of the primary things pushing young men toward the right. I always try to point that out and advocate against the relentless bashing, but that just gets me called misogynist or told that they just need to suck it up and deal with it. It sucks.
This is why so many young men have moved to the right. When one side is telling you ur worth nothing you deserve this and the other is telling you your worth nothing this is how to fix it what do u expect people to choose.
This is why I believe the virtue we need more than any other is forgiveness.
To be honest, I’d be all for legislation that makes a criminal record less damning.
Think about it. If you tell someone “We’re not going to hire you, we’re not going to help you in anyway, and we’re not even going to recognize your basic humanity you’re a criminal and that’s all you’ll ever be!”
Will they aspire to better themselves, change how people see them, pick themselves up by their bootstraps, and try to find a foot in the door?
Or are they going to say “Well, if I’m a criminal, that’s all I’ll ever be and I have bills to pay, I guess I better rob a convenience store so I don’t starve to death.”
The former makes for a feel good story, but the latter’s going to be more realistic.
If you tell someone they’re worthless because of X, then they will live up to the label. You need to BELIEVE in someone and give them a real chance to change their ways, we cannot be defined solely by our mistakes or we will always be the worst versions of ourselves.
And in the case of what’s happening with men, they’re not even being judged by their mistakes. They’re not even being allowed to make mistakes, for too many have already declared them guilty by association with the penis.
They say that men are afraid women will laugh at them, but the truth is, men are afraid that women will have them arrested for the crime of maleness.
This is why I will never call myself a Feminist, I prefer the term Egalitarian. For I will not stoop to misandry (As Modern Feminism has often been accused of, as boys are constantly left behind while their female peers are given a leg up), nor racism (Anyone else familiar with the term “White Feminism”?)
This. I’m trans and I’ve existed in public as both a man and a woman.
Nothing is more soul-crushing than being called The Devil simply for being of a sex that isn’t even one you want to be!
One of the few Right Wing talking points that I sort of agree with is the idea that men are demonized just for existing, because they REALLY are. I’m not surprised men are responding with hostility to being told their very masculinity is toxic.
Don’t get me wrong, Dudebros are still fucking awful, but… “I get it” if that makes sense.
Doesn’t mean I recommend anyone takes Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson’s advice and no incels are not based, but… damn ya know.
Feminists missed out and are continuing to miss out on an opportunity to bridge the gap. Men aren’t choosing Tate and Peterson because they’re the best version of masculinity, they’re choosing them because they’re some of the only people telling men you don’t have to hate yourself, and they’re acknowledging that things really are challenging for men.
It’s how Trump won too. While everyone was talking about how great things are, he was telling a different story: things were great, but they’re a bit shit right now. While he named the wrong enemy (it’s always oligarchs), most people wouldn’t know that and were just happy to have someone call the issue out at all.
Feminists and Democrats have a choice now: take class and men’s issues seriously, or keep losing ground. Given the latest events at the DNC, it doesn’t sound like Democrats learned anything. Maybe the major feminist orgs are doing the necessary self-examination? I’m not hopeful to be frank, but I’m open to it.
What did the DNC do?
Chose seemingly every hill that isn’t worker’s rights and people’s material wellbeing to die on, again.
How dare you want to exist as your preferred and best version of yourself!
Seriously though, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve always felt comfortable with the gender I was born with and I can’t imagine how hard it has to be to not feel that way. Not to mention being forced to interact with people who think you don’t deserve to be the person you’re happy with because it’s makes them a little uncomfortable. They’re ignorant assholes.
This is one of the primary things pushing young men toward the right. I always try to point that out and advocate against the relentless bashing, but that just gets me called misogynist or told that they just need to suck it up and deal with it. It sucks.
We need to tell men that it’s okay for boys to cry, and that if someone hurts them we promise not to laugh at them, and we need to fucking mean it.
Absolutely, but something needs to be done about all the girls on apps like tiktok who perpetuate this. “He cried and I got the ick” etc
Correct
They’re the female equivalwnt of toxic masculinity. Don’t let toxic femininity hurt you.
Because you’re seen as pushing back on the feminist agenda. Funny thing, feminism is about equality, not reversing roles nor pushing down individuals.
The movement may have started as equality, but it has clearly been either co-opted by bad faith agents, misandrists, and career sociopaths.
Same type of people who think they’re feminists but then openly laugh at the idea of the male loneliness epidemic
This is why so many young men have moved to the right. When one side is telling you ur worth nothing you deserve this and the other is telling you your worth nothing this is how to fix it what do u expect people to choose.
This is why I believe the virtue we need more than any other is forgiveness.
To be honest, I’d be all for legislation that makes a criminal record less damning.
Think about it. If you tell someone “We’re not going to hire you, we’re not going to help you in anyway, and we’re not even going to recognize your basic humanity you’re a criminal and that’s all you’ll ever be!”
Will they aspire to better themselves, change how people see them, pick themselves up by their bootstraps, and try to find a foot in the door?
Or are they going to say “Well, if I’m a criminal, that’s all I’ll ever be and I have bills to pay, I guess I better rob a convenience store so I don’t starve to death.”
The former makes for a feel good story, but the latter’s going to be more realistic.
If you tell someone they’re worthless because of X, then they will live up to the label. You need to BELIEVE in someone and give them a real chance to change their ways, we cannot be defined solely by our mistakes or we will always be the worst versions of ourselves.
And in the case of what’s happening with men, they’re not even being judged by their mistakes. They’re not even being allowed to make mistakes, for too many have already declared them guilty by association with the penis.
They say that men are afraid women will laugh at them, but the truth is, men are afraid that women will have them arrested for the crime of maleness.
This is why I will never call myself a Feminist, I prefer the term Egalitarian. For I will not stoop to misandry (As Modern Feminism has often been accused of, as boys are constantly left behind while their female peers are given a leg up), nor racism (Anyone else familiar with the term “White Feminism”?)
Beautifully said.
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