I joke around a lot but I want to say something very serious here.
I grew up like that. I assumed everyone was fucking awful and I was proven right time and time again. But one day I started looking for the best in people and it was so fucking hard for a while.
What I learned is that generally I remember whatever it is I’m looking for in people. Once in a while you’ll find several memorable assholes in a row. Once in a while you’ll find several amazing people in a row. But on the whole if I walk out into the world expecting everyone to be awful I’ll find a lot of awful people doing awful shit.
The other thing I learned is that it severely changed the way I interact with others. If I’m expecting all people to be shitty I’m disconnected and dismissive. But if I walk out believing humanity is mostly good with a few bad seeds I tend to be happier, connected, and friendly.
Obviously it’s not as easy as just believing one thing then the other. It’s a struggle to get out once you believe people (in general, or a specific race, or a gender, or folks with certain haircuts) are terrible because that’s all you’ll remember when you get home. You’ll remember a dude at the store was rude and a lady on the street talked shit while completely forgetting that a woman at the store held the door for you because your hands were full and a guy on the street discreetly let you know your fly was down.
I joke around a lot but I want to say something very serious here.
I grew up like that. I assumed everyone was fucking awful and I was proven right time and time again. But one day I started looking for the best in people and it was so fucking hard for a while.
What I learned is that generally I remember whatever it is I’m looking for in people. Once in a while you’ll find several memorable assholes in a row. Once in a while you’ll find several amazing people in a row. But on the whole if I walk out into the world expecting everyone to be awful I’ll find a lot of awful people doing awful shit.
The other thing I learned is that it severely changed the way I interact with others. If I’m expecting all people to be shitty I’m disconnected and dismissive. But if I walk out believing humanity is mostly good with a few bad seeds I tend to be happier, connected, and friendly.
Obviously it’s not as easy as just believing one thing then the other. It’s a struggle to get out once you believe people (in general, or a specific race, or a gender, or folks with certain haircuts) are terrible because that’s all you’ll remember when you get home. You’ll remember a dude at the store was rude and a lady on the street talked shit while completely forgetting that a woman at the store held the door for you because your hands were full and a guy on the street discreetly let you know your fly was down.
Your last sentence fucking nailed it.