He wouldn’t say he redefined it, more like he has tainted the word schlonged .

I know where this is from, but the images of googling "Trump schlonged " would cause most people to claw their own eyes out.

You have to sing it like the subway commercial.

Puckerberg!

Sadie

No, it was like “weather is brought to you by.” Can I not remember the rest because I was blinded by rage . I didn’t even hear the weather. It only happened once.

“it’s the thirst mutilator!”

I asked Alexa what the weather was like, and they shoe horned a sponsorship.

What a terrible day to have eyes…

Behold this sacred relic! It’s his old samsung S5!

Yeah, I tell everyone that’s where my familiar drinks from.

Narwhal is cool, but do you want to use the good Narwhal on just anyone? I want to use it for special occasions or that certain someone.

I would rather spend that money on a local burger joint. Give me a single named joint with a generic paper bag with grease stains on the outside.

The only way to protect yourself from a bad guy with a sword is a good guy with a spear.

Harry potter and the Legend Of The Overfiend.

You haven’t had a sandwich until you get a whole ass bell pepper and half a red onion.

They could have done the equivalent the “last crusade”, but instead of Sean Connery, its Harrison Ford .

More like monkey brains, right? Its probably still good though.

Thank you for moving day naps higher on the list.

I’d just wish they would bring back the rueben sandwich.