My girlfriend had computer RAM in her purse. That is now why she is my wife.

Through my mental fog lies a Souls boss waiting to destroy all who attempt to enter (including me).

Me the second I read this: FUCK. THAT. 😠

The last lending library I saw had some religious discs placed inside them. Expected them to be of the usual Christian variety. Oddly enough, it was actually of some rabbi.

I was under the impression that Judaism wasn’t about proselytising. 🤷

Awww…She looks just like you!

Any minute now…

Just before the pandemic, I was at a restaurant. A couple was sitting next to me.

Woman: (Says something about Fiona)

Man: Who’s Fiona?

Woman: (Shocked, disgusted face) You don’t KNOW Fiona???

I bet she broke up with him on the spot.

Me at the grocery store yesterday: “These cookies look delicious! And they’re 90% off!”

Wife: “Those are lactation cookies…”

Me: “I didn’t know that was a thing… They still look good though…”

I want this.

I went to an all-boys Catholic highschool. I had a teacher that was a Christian Brother. One day he had an argument with a classmate over how effective condoms were. He basically argued that condoms don’t work. (Even arguing that a Ziploc bag couldn’t keep semen from escaping.)

This teacher was pretty popular because he was a character, who’d sometimes make crude jokes.

After graduating, some friends and a I ran into him at a mall. He asked us “What are you guys up to? Picking up little girls?”

We laughed it off thinking he was still his same old jovial self.

Not long after, I heard that this same teacher had been arrested for being involved with minors. His “joke” that day seemed like some major projection.

I was browsing news headlines. Me: “Why is Johnny Gaudreau trending…”

Reading out loud to my wife, I first read it as “Johnny Gaudreau’s brother died”. Reading it a second time, the utter dread sunk in.

What a way to find out.

Finding out that it was the day before their sister’s wedding…a tremendous tragedy.

He’ll be missed.

Change the dog to me, and replace the leash with a lawn mower.

Are they smaller? These new IKEA plugs seem like they are less wide than the Third Reality ones, but they might stick out farther.

Either way, those Third Reality plugs are nice.

Hey, if Dreamcast calls, you better answer

Brutal. Not sure how that compares to me being mad at my bro for deleting my Legend of Zelda save.

Oh! Can’t forget Power Stone 2!

Looking over my collection, these are the ones I thought “I’d like to play that right now.”

Soul Calibur, Chuchu Rocket, Mars Matrix, Virtua Tennis, Super Magnetic Neo, Sword Of The Berserk: Guts’ Rage

It doesn’t work on Infinity either.

Me reading the headline: “🙄 Who isn’t making a mechanical keyboard these days…”

Me after looking at the pictures: “I…might want that…”