• RangerJosie@lemmy.world
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        7 days ago

        American hero, Agent 47/John Wick/etc, shot the CEO of United Healthcare and killed him at 7am in front of the Hilton Hotel in Manhattan.

        He had “Deny, Defend, Depose” carved into the shell casings of the spent cartridges he used to kill the parasite.

        He then rode away on an E-Bike and hasn’t been seen since.

        • AutistoMephisto@lemmy.world
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          7 days ago

          As an aside, another proposed moniker for this hero is “Lancelot”, as he has clearly slain a dragon. Three cheers for the Dragonslayer!

          • Noxy@yiffit.net
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            6 days ago

            Don’t insult dragons by comparing them to a fuckin health insurance exec!

            • AutistoMephisto@lemmy.world
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              6 days ago

              I’m speaking, of course, of greedy, wealth hoarding dragons like Smaug. Who would slaughter an entire mountain of Dwarves to get his claws on wealth he will never spend, just to have it.

  • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Copayback. I’ve never smiled as much as I have today. Random Shooter can have anything he wants or needs from me, an alibi, a bike rental, a kidney.

  • lambalicious@lemmy.sdf.org
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    6 days ago

    To celebrate, I went on a (buying) spree on a rented e-bike today!

    (Unfortunately it’s a bit costly around here)

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Such a tragic loss! He’s going to miss those dictionary bullets! Each bullet comes with one word written on it…live, life, laugh are probably still I’m the barrel

  • roofTophopper@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    I spent this week searching for Christmas gifts. It’s cold outside and I suddenly had this thought that everyone in my family plus my friends are getting tan colored jackets with hoods. It just came to me out of the blue.

  • Fedizen@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    I can’t wait for some kind of cyberpunk asshole nuke to blow up the pentagon in the next episode of reality

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    Look, if Elon got run over by a Tesla, everyone would be laughing it off right now. If putin got smashed between a large truck and another large truck or by some other means like a large steel plate, everyone would be more than ecstatic. I would do a little dance myself. So I think we should just not try to figure out who did this too hard. It just happens sometimes. Right?

    Cuz nobody figures out who denied your claim when your dad had to die right? Where’s the justice there? This is it! This is the justice. Don’t want it? Well then implement a better way to get justice. As, is, this is great.

    • Etterra@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Hey gun crime is just a reality we have to live with, according to the Republicans in Congress. So I don’t see any reason to make a big fuss just because this rich bastard accidentally feel into some bullets, instead of the usual bunch of innocent children or random black person the cops decided to shoot while face down and in handcuffs. No, I’m sure the police have much more serious police matters to attend to, like civil forfeiture on somebody carrying a large amount of cash or selling appropriated weapons to drug cartels.

    • kreskin@lemmy.world
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      7 days ago

      Look, if Elon got run over by a Tesla, everyone would be laughing it off right now.

      I think he should have demonstrated the use of that metal tube he wanted to use as a rescue sub to rescue those kids in the thai cave. Best way to demonstrate its safe is to go into it yourself.

      Or he could use a pseudonym and work remote from one of the companies he owns and see how long he lasts as a worker. He thinks he can judge other peoples code? lets see his medicore bitchass show up and show us all how its done.

      That guy sucks.

    • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Cuz nobody figures out who denied your claim when your dad had to die right?

      This is part of the hell that we live in.

      If you have a complaint about any corporation, you can’t do anything about it. They all run phone trees designed to waste your time and make it impossible to reach anyone who can actually do anything. They pay call center workers in India nothing to take the frustration which should be directed at the C-suites.

      We live in a world with zero accountability for anyone with a sizable bank account.

  • Rooty@lemmy.world
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    7 days ago

    People got so hung up on cool cyberware and Johnny Silverhand that they completely forgot Cyberpunk was a warning.