The biggest?
That time we dodged a Scud ballistic missile. I don’t mean we saw one get intercepted or had one land nearby and just watched. We actively dodged it.
So there we were in Iraq in 2003. We’re outside Al Najaf and the battle for the city is raging. There are artillery rounds going both ways, planes dropping ordnance, and thousands of civilians leaving the city on foot. Mostly we ignored them because we had a job to do. But one guy turns around suddenly and starts walking back into the city. Several of us noticed him and started asking the others around us, “is he?.. Is he pacing? Did he turn around just to the side of our position?”
The consensus quickly formed that, yup, he was walking in a way to count his steps and get a distance measurement. Our leaders called up the chain and a plan quickly formed. If it was nothing then there wouldn’t be an interruption to the battle anyways. The second the sun was down we moved out to a new position in complete light discipline. Nobody was allowed any light but what they could get through a night vision device. Not even the IR flashlights and markers.
In our new position everything was normal until around 0300 when a huge explosion went off right in our previous fighting position. They had indeed launched a SCUD based on one man pacing a distance measurement, and they were accurate. If we hadn’t moved that night then I wouldn’t be here.
So we dodged a Scud Missile.
Holy shit dude.
I’m a fan of your war stories. The amount of shit you’ve survived must put you on par with chuck norris or something.
It was definitely a year that contained a decade, but I’m far from being the one to see the most stuff. And I certainly wasn’t a lone wolf. Well except for that one time… Lol I jest, we never did anything alone.
Nah, with Chuck Norris, it’s usually the missiles that do the dodging.
With chuck norris it’s actually probably a lgbtq or minority that needs to do the dodging.
Chuck Norris is a piece of shit
Are we talking about the same Chuck Norris?
No, we are not.
I am talking about an internet meme
You are talking about a real person, who is probably old by now.Yeah, we’re talking about the same chuck norris.
Unfortunately we memed a douchebag back in the day, but the good news is you can stop.
As an EU immigrant, left the UK after the Leave vote but before Brexit and Covid.
It’s not a bullet but more like a whole lot of bullets.
Mind you, most of it was entirely predictable back then.
Can you elaborate on some of the bullets dodged? Not from that part of the world and I’ve only heard of the economic ramifications. I’d be curious to hear about it in greater detail, if you have the time!
The country moved to the far-right, the Industry I was working in - Finance - lost 40,000 jobs, Britain got general Economic stagnation worse than the EU, the value of the British Pound fell significantly against the Euro after the vote (fortunatelly I moved all my savings out of Pound-denominated assets evern before the Leave vote, so I personally was alright) all of the sudden as an EU immigrant you became a second class citizen with lots of extra hassle for living there (inside the EU, EU immigrants have the same rights as the locals, so when Britain left, they lost that), significant decay and problems with their National Health Service, really bad mishandling of COVID (especially in the beginning) and so on.
In some ways the place turned into a mini Trump’s-America, only with the extra nastiness of already being very classist country with very low social mobility from the start and a heavy “know your place” mindset - which is extra hard for immigrants because Britons see themselves as superior to all foreigners but Americans, so “Immigrant” is the lowest “social class” for them - and without the upsides that American has (mainly space and scale, natural resources and at least in some places good weather).
Mind you, most of those things are trends predating Brexit which were heavilly accelerated by it.
Shortly after getting my driver’s license, I stupidly merged onto a road with a 40 mph speed limit without looking left.
A car was coming right towards my driver’s side door. The driver of the other car made their brakes squeal (this was before ABS). Right before they would have hit me and probably killed me (this was before airbags), they released their brakes, swerved around me, and kept going.
It was some really impressive driving, and it likely saved my life.having kids. If I had established myself a bit earlier financially it might have happened before I saw the signs of where things were going.
I get what you’re saying but I love my kid. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me.
I can understand that but its part of the reason im so glad I don’t have one as I would not like to see them dealing with the world today as far as getting an education and a job and seeing a nice future for themselves.
Yeah, I feel this. I’m in a rough spot right now and the world keeps getting tougher. The idea of bringing someone into this suffering seems cruel to me
I was watching some amature tree removal people rig a pulley system to a tree that partially fell over from about 50 yards away with a few other people. They hooked it up to a pickup truck and drove forward at full power. The pulley snapped and landed behind me on an incline a fraction of a second later. I felt the wind from it go over my head and sort of visually noticed it go by in the same way someone would notice a cannonball go clear across a field in an instant. It was most certainly going fast enough and weighed enough to completely demolish my skull and everything inside. Very surreal, we opted to leave them to their work after that.
Out of curiosity, where were you in relation to the direction the truck was driving? Was it driving towards you?
No, perpendicular. We were on a path out of the way. I’m not sure why it came our direction, but I remember more than one pulley and the tree was propped against a building sort of in our direction.
Went looking for mushrooms in the woods with some friends. A few meters off a trail we found a rusty metal pipe sticking out of the ground. Looked like someone threw some chemical waste out. We tried to open it, to pull it out, we put a stick in (I get sweaty palms writing this down right now) and smelled the strange liquid. It didn’t work so we went home. One friend send the location to the local waste authority. They called a day later, it was a phosphorus bomb dropped by the British during WW2, it was still active and had to be defused. Fuck me! This was not deep in the woods, people walked by in plain sight for decades.
I was driving home from an event late at night on a highway. It was warm and my AC wasn’t working, and my eyes felt heavy. My blinks kept getting longer until I realized my eyes had been closed too long. I realized I was falling asleep at 65mph and opened up the windows and managed to wake myself up, but if the road had been any busier I could have killed someone, myself included.
Taken literally, a gang shooting aimed at somebody about 10 feet from me. A friend nearly tackled me and dragged me into the bar I was standing in front of.
Almost went to college for art, decided last minute to do engineering instead. Still ended up getting heavily involved in art later in life because I had the financial freedom from tech to do so
Not having children with my (now) ex-wife. Thankfully found out her true nature before that happened. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to co-parent with her and deal with her on a regular basis. So I’m thankful I could just split our shit 50/50 and then forget I ever knew her.
Large outlet center on interstate 40 in North Carolina between two metropolitan areas needed a Spanish translator. I applied and interviewed, having spent significant time working IT jobs in South America. They asked if I spoke Mexican. I said no, I am working proficient in Spanish. They said sorry, they were looking for someone who spoke Mexican.
Oh I know a guy who speaks Mexican. This cop. (3s)
Russian military draft.
I love the Americans in this thread answering the question literally
12 ga, not sure if slug or shot.
Gun was held to my head for 20-30 mins during some gang stupidity involving a family member not wanting to leave a party I was supposed to pick them up from. I left, came back and the place was crawling with police and EMS. The same gun, held by the same guy was used to shoot another person in the face.
I ended up having to give statements, got subpoenaed, and myself, family, and friends being threatened by same gang for a number of years.
