• norimee@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Lemmy is a quite misogynistic place.

        Its often no fun to be a woman on here. They might rip you apart, if you say something slightly feminist (depending on where you say it). Made me think of leaving several times already.

        • Anne@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Please don’t leave! Keep speaking your mind, if enough of us stick it out we can drown out the users like Captain Asshole here.

        • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          I understand if you do, but I hope you won’t. I like this place despite its flaws and I hope it won’t turn into a far right community.

        • Nythos@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          Block anyone or any instance you find regularly being outright misogynistic and slowly, but surely, create a better place for yourself.

        • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          It’s not misogynistic to not want the half of humanity that gets murdered multiple times more often (over 3x in the US) than the other, to be erased as victims.

          • EmeraldNova@mastodon.social
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            2 months ago

            @captain_aggravated please shut up and stop proving the point that people like you exist on the internet. Go touch grass.

        • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 months ago

          It fucking sucks. This place was great shortly after the reddit exodus. Now it’s just as bad, if not worse.

          As a man, are there any fucking online spaces that haven’t been co-opted by right wing interests? I’m sick of this “red pill” bullshit infecting the minds of young men in every corner of the internet. Nowhere is safe. I wish they’d crawl back into the holes they came out of.

          We are going fucking backwards and it’s infuriating.

          • norimee@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            I still have hope.

            On reddit there were also a lot of right wing nuts, incels and raging misogynists, but they tended to concentrate themselves into their own subs and echo chamber bubbles. If you kept yourself away from the “Manosphere” (like r/incels, r/MGTOW, r/MensRights…), the likes of TheDonald and the equaly disturbing misandrists of r/FemaleDatingStrategy it wasn’t that bad.

            I hope this wave of toxic behaviour towards each other is just some kind of growing pain and these toxic people will find themselves seperating into their own communities wigh time.

        • Maeve@kbin.earth
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          2 months ago

          It’s not just misogyny. I’m watching the sweetest, most kind user getting ripped to shreds for posting articles from MSM about candidates across the spectrum, who are of neither major party. The toxicity is wild , self-justification more wild. In the short time I’ve been on Lemmy, it’s “gone to hell in a fast car and keeping it hot,” as I hear a user elsewhere say. about certain topics. I’m quickly becoming of the opinion the up and down votes get discarded and a randomized ranking algorithm put in place.

      • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Not really. Specifically saying “end femicide” is like fundraising for breast cancer treatment, but only for men, who are a small minority of those with breast cancer.

        You are over three times less likely to be a victim of murder (in the US at least) if you are a woman, than a man.

        There is zero reason to oppose murder of one sex any more or less than the other, and it takes the same amount of effort to voice opposition for both, as for only one. So going out of your way to advocate only for the half of the population that suffers this fate far less often, understandably comes off as sexist and callous, to the objective observer.

        • LillyPip@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          How many in that statistic are men being killed by women? How many of those murders are the result of gang violence that’s predominantly committed against men by other men?

          I assume you’re referring to this stat:

          In 2022, the FBI reported that 14,441 men and 4,251 women were murdered in the United States.

          … which equates to about 79% of all murders.

          There’s a lot of nuance in that broad, sweeping statistic, but here are some statistics that are more clear:

          In the same year, there were 15,094 male murder offenders and 2,107 female murder offenders.

          … so the problem isn’t that more men are being murdered in general, but that an overwhelmingly larger number of men are murderers, and they target each other quite a bit. Gang violence stats are wrapped up in that 79%, and most gang violence is male-on-male.

          Here’s another:

          Among homicides in the United States, intimate partners kill almost 50% of female and 10% of male victims.

          Many of these stats are situational, making that overly-broad figure misleading.

          Also, the likelihood of being murdered increases quite a bit when a woman is pregnant:

          In 2020, the homicide rate for pregnant or postpartum women was 5.23 per 100,000 live births, which is 35% higher than the rate for non-pregnant and non-postpartum women.

          And that doesn’t include all the violent sexual crimes against women and girls, that are also committed at a far higher rate than against men and boys.

          The overarching fact seems to be that men kill men a lot, and they also kill women an order of magnitude more often than women kill men, so maybe the problem here is men’s propensity for violence.

          e: If that’s what you meant, I agree, we should be finding and implementing ways to reduce male toxicity in general, which includes many things like supporting mental health care and opposing norms (mostly within the online ‘manosphere’) that promote and foster toxic rather than healthy masculinity.

          • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            If the sex of a murder victim changes, at all, how you perceive the crime, you’re sexist, period.

            At least have the guts to admit it instead of pretending this is a noble stance.

            • Plopp@lemmy.world
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              2 months ago

              The sex, gender, ethnicity etc of the victim, and the perpetrator, can give very important context that can point to very important issues that needs to be dealt with. If you’re alluding to the actual deaths of the victims being equally bad no matter their gender because they are all humans, then congratulations for passing the lowest threshold for human decency.

              Wanting to end femicide doesn’t mean you value women more than men, it’s pointing to a specific issue. It also doesn’t mean that other issues doesn’t matter.

              • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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                2 months ago

                If you’re alluding to the actual deaths of the victims being equally bad no matter their gender because they are all humans, then congratulations for passing the lowest threshold for human decency.

                Yeah, and as low as that is, there are many in here who don’t pass it, so shame on them.

                Wanting to end femicide doesn’t mean you value women more than men, it’s pointing to a specific issue. It also doesn’t mean that other issues doesn’t matter.

                It’s the same sort of thing as when there was that big statement made some years back about ‘stop targeting women journalists’, alongside a statistic that 11% of the journalists who were killed over the prior year were women. In other words, ‘89% of killed journalists are men, so stop killing women’. At best, a statement like that comes off as foolishly ignorant–at worst, it comes off as callous and indifferent to male victims.

                • Plopp@lemmy.world
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                  2 months ago

                  Everything has context, and context matters. Your can look at any issue from different perspectives and through different lenses. From different perspectives, different aspects of the context might be of different significance, etc. As such, there could very well be a perfectly fine reason to say “stop targeting women journalists”. But that doesn’t, at all, mean other perspectives are invalid.

      • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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        2 months ago

        Lemmy is filled with the most opinionated kind of Redditors and Russians it can fit on the servers, it’s a moderator miracle it didn’t go full incel.

      • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        Hopefully it was from the perspective that the comment is not helpful in reducing the number of murders of women.

        I don’t know, I don’t personally see the harm in merely motivational comments or rants. But I thought it might be that.

        • acargitz@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          I honestly have no idea how any Lemmy comment might be helpful at reducing the murders of women.

          • Danquebec@sh.itjust.works
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            2 months ago

            Maybe if they proposed some policy, or shared some stats and facts, instead of merely a statement of hope.

        • acargitz@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          Wtf are you talking about. What a weird thing to write. I’m very much not OK with being murdered thank you very much.

          • Jax@sh.itjust.works
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            2 months ago

            Listen, cut him some slack - it’s really hard to keep your hands dry when you’re writing inside of a bubble. They’re very soapy, and you can’t move too much or they’ll pop.

  • HubertManne@moist.catsweat.com
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    2 months ago

    “The authorities in north-west Kenya, where Cheptegei lived and trained, said she was targeted after returning home from church with her two daughters.”

    it then has something about land and quarelling but its hard to get what happened.

    “A report filed by a local administrator alleged the athlete and her ex-partner had been wrangling over a piece of land. Police say an investigation is under way. Cheptegei, from a region just across the border in Uganda, is said to have bought a plot in Trans Nzoia county and built a house to be near Kenya’s elite athletics training centres.”

    it talks of her generosity and position as a bread winner. I wonder if he wanted her to buy it at some inflated price or some crap. I guess ultimately it does not matter what the stupidity was but for some reason im always trying to figure out the thinking from the nutter in the story. Luckily it does not mention injuries to the daughter although apparently he got himself somewhat but not enough to die.

  • gedaliyah@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Just terrible.

    If there were some kind of global women’s vigilante network to handle these things, I would definitely not snitch.

      • norimee@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        It’s the Exception that proves the rule, is it not?

        I wish the majority or at least a lot of people were like Mr. Rogers, but truth is, he was exceptional.

        • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Can someone explain where the notion of an exception proving the rule came from? This has never made the slightest bit of sense to me, lol.

          • lobut@lemmy.ca
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            2 months ago

            I remember wrestling with that for years. I dunno, my last interpretation of it was the fact that if it was rare and considered an exception then the rule has a point?

            I dunno. I’m more than likely wrong but that’s as far as I could go with it.

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 months ago

      Yeah. Climate change is just the earth getting a fever in an attempt to rid itself of the human virus.

      Part of my hopes it succeeds.

  • werefreeatlast@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    RIP. This is just such a sad story. I hoped things went better. I hoped she would recover. I guess the guy mentioning the 75% burn was not survivable was right this time.

  • Etterra@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Okay JFC who sets someone on fire over a land dispute!? I mean I’d be all for lighting, say, Kim Jong Un on fire, but that guy’s a mad murdering sociopath. I dunno what penalties there are for egregiously horrible murder, but that guy deserves it.

    Are there special punishments or charges for deluxe murder? Like murder with extra suffering? IDK humanity is pretty fucked up.

    • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      When my family murdered folks over land disputes the other folks did it first, we also used guns and a ditch. Seriously burning someone alive is something ya leave to trench fighters.

    • UsernameIsTooLon@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      How about we instead keep on teaching men healthy masculinity and create the foundations for a better society rather than keep “banning” everything bad.

      An all women/men world would still have evil perpetrators.

        • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          I terrify my wife. When she comes home I hide next to the fridge and I say “BOO!” and I get her just about every time. Then I hug my kids and finish making dinner.

          Your pity party here is a self-fulfilling prophecy and screams white knight and all that. You can do better, get out of your head.

        • CaptPretentious@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          News only reports like this and it skews peoples perceptions. For example, I’m a guy. This last weekend I took my friend and all her kids (all girls) out for amusement park, festival, swimming, gifts, and any food they wanted out weekend before school starts. I paid for everything. You won’t find it in the news, Why’d I do it, because they moved to a new city far away from their friends so I wanted to start all the girls on a very happy note for school starting.

          No one owes you examples. Men are not inherently evil and women are not inherently good. People, all people, have the capacity for both good and evil.

    • ealoe@ani.social
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      2 months ago

      “us” speak for yourself buddy but I have never lit a woman on fire and never will. We all would be better off without violent assholes regardless of their gender.

  • Redruth@feddit.nl
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    2 months ago

    North west, bordering uganda. hmmm. i wonder if there is an islamic component to this? Or maybe a brain development problem. that region has a big problem with helminth infestation. A lot of poor rural kids have the worms and so, the immune system is inflamed and brain fails to develop. typical characteristic is inability to negotiate simple problems and turn on the other person in violent rage. its well documented. i have seen videos from rural west kenya of low iq parents beating their low iq children.

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Listen buddy.

      First of all, men are brutalizing women all over the world, every day, regardless of religion.

      You should think about religion as less of a driver and more of a record. Like a dictionary.

      People will do whatever they want to do, and then they will justify it. If there happens to be a few convenient passages in a religious text justifying setting your spouse on fire, they’ll repeat that until they’re blue in the face while dousing a woman in gasoline.

      And sure, you can say that they use that text to tech their kids, but they’re still just teaching the bits they want to.

      The point is, Muslim, Hindu, Christian, doesn’t matter. All major sacred books have bits about brutalizing women that step out of line, and the people that really like those bits tend to climg to them to justify being horrible fucking people.

      • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Why just the other day in springfield a woman was covered in pitch and lit on fire down the road from me. /BIG SARCASM

        I don’t believe the brainworm excuse given by that user but I don’t think it’s a stretch to see how locality influences these problems.

        • trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          No, the woman in Springfield was just beaten to a pulp. You just don’t know it because it doesn’t make the news as long as she’s not been set on fire.

        • Redruth@feddit.nl
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          2 months ago

          You don’t believe in helminths? thousands are afflicted. maybe you think schistosoma are imaginary too. so, when youre pissing blood in excruciating pain, you will go to the witch doctor for a dose of belief based medicine, yes?

          • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Even a severely brain damaged individual doesn’t start immolating their wives, and I see no particularly high correlation between Africa and rate of Neurological disorders in the first place.

            See this Global Study LINK with a figure attached below:

            It sounds like you just want an excuse to call Africans your intellectual inferiors.

            • Redruth@feddit.nl
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              2 months ago

              People that grew up with chronic helminth infestation have serious mental impairment. why are you being facetious?

      • Redruth@feddit.nl
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        2 months ago

        Yes, sadly islam does happen thousands of times a day in the west. Not so sure about the chronic helminth infestation tho

        • Eyck_of_denesle@lemmy.zip
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          2 months ago

          Her ex is a christian(though it doesn’t matter what he is because it’s irrelevant to the murder). Are you gonna still blame “islam” for all your problems? Are they also causing your adhd and dysfunction?

          • Redruth@feddit.nl
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            2 months ago

            Fascinating how several people are determined to misquote, misattribute and mischaracterise my comments rather than do a little reading and free themselves from ignorance.

            i never ascribed a religion to the attacker. i suggested that the growth of islam in that region might be linked with violence against women. because it usually is.

    • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 months ago

      i have seen videos from rural west kenya of low iq parents beating their low iq children.

      Really didn’t take long for this site to become the racist cesspit that reddit was. Impressive.

      • Redruth@feddit.nl
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        2 months ago

        They have chronic parasite infestation leading to mental retardation. its a medical problem.

    • Malfeasant@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      Whoa… Bad choice of words…

      Or great, depends on what you were going for…

      • Maeve@kbin.earth
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        2 months ago

        Agreed. Star would have implied because of her athletic skill, I meant because of her spirit.